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HOME > Miscellaneous Jokes Category >
Keeping Pace

A newlywed couple arrive at their honeymoon suite and prepare to have sex for the first time. As they start to settle under the covers, she tells her husband,

"I've got a confession. I'm not a virgin, but I've been with only one man."

The husband thinks for a second and says,

"Well it's 2003, that's not unusual for you to have had premarital sex. But can I ask who the guy was?"

She fidgets for a minute, then says,

"Tiger Woods."

Her husband is surprised by this response but tells her,

"Well, he's rich, talented, and good-looking. I can see why you wanted to sleep with him."

So they make love for the first time and when they finish he gets up and goes to the room phone. His wife rolls over and asks,

"What are you doing?"

He tells her, "I'm hungry. I was gonna call room service. Do you want anything?"

"Tiger wouldn't have done," she says.

"Oh really? What would Tiger have done," he asks.

"Tiger would have come back to bed and made love to me a second time."

So her husband puts down the phone and gets back to bed and makes love to his wife a second time. After they finish he gets out of bed and walks to the phone again. Again his wife asks,

"What are you doing?"

"Well I never called room service the first time and I'm still hungry," he replies.

"Tiger wouldn't have done that," she again tells him.

"Oh really. And what would Tiger have done?"

"Tiger would have come back to bed and made love to me a third time," she says.

So her husband goes back to bed and makes love to her for a third time. After finally finishing he rolls out of bed again and goes to the phone.

"Calling room service again?" she asks.

"No! I'm calling Tiger so I can find out what the par is for this damn hole!!"

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