A MAN'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS
- WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS
men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think
life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and
it's not just
from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)?
behavior. We're just misunderstood.
- WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly
all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the
moment we met
Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better
getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of
memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it
reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn
it into our
memory by staring as much as we can.
- WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN
We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and
happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in
public is just an
- WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?
We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see
frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.
- WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?
You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every
open it you get into trouble with your partner.
- WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?
Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we
It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's
missing in so
much of the world nowadays. Farting is another fun thing
- WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to
that men and women are different? How are we supposed to
share how we
feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're
extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick
on our foot,
have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache
whenever I try
to figure out how I feel.
- WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E., LIE DOWN AND HUG)?
Please ... How many hours do you think there is in a
oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides
stand lying around for hours on end? We men ... Men
hunters ... Need
go roam ... Starve in cave ... Must go find wildebeest
on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a
- HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles
evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of
getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often
necessary to sit in
one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for
successful hunters were able to sit very still for very
periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their
fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed
tigers etc. The
result is that almost all modern men are born with this
- WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?"
Men are taught from a tender young age to be
say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we
need you. Most
men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to
admit to one's
own character faults.
- WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW
Ho, Ho, Ho ... Aren't you special? Well, some men
think it's a
sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it
works quite well.
- WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?
We just simply don't have the energy to answer every
of your questions. If we think we do not have the
answer, or that you
will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and
save the energy
for other things.
- WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?
Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that
we know darn well you'll pick it up.
- WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?
This usually only occurs after months of courting.
It's our way
to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe
it or not,
it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it
periods of time gives us stomach cramps.
- WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?
It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather.
We just want
to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to
spend hours and
hours to look at things we have no intention of killing?