Q: Why did Kobe Bryant buy a dictionary?
A: To figure out what part of "no" he doesn't understand.
Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so confident that he'll rebound well after this scandal?
A: Because he'll be the tallest player on the prison team.
Q: Why is Kobe Bryant stacking money in his backyard?
A: To practice jumping bail.
Q: Why has Kobe Bryant started smoking a little pot?
A: To help him prepare for the Big Joint.
Q: Why does Kobe wear goggles during sex?
A: To keep the mace out of his eyes.
Q: What do Gigli and Kobe Bryant have in common?
A: Both leave people in tears feeling screwed.
Q: Who's the head lawyer on Kobe's legal team?
A: The one with dirt on his knees.
Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so worried about jury prejudice during his trial?
A: Cuz no one likes a rapist.
Q: How is Kobe Bryant spending his free time this summer?
A: By adding a second bedroom to the dog house.
Q: Why did Kobe add the letter "O" to his bracelet?
A: So it would stand for: "What Would O.J. Do?".
Q: Why did Kobe buy his wife such a huge diamond?
A: Because the weight of it slows down her punches.
Q: What did Shaq say when he heard of Kobe's marital infidelity?
A: Kobe making a pass? She must be lying.
Q: What did President Bush say when he heard that Sprite might drop Kobe?
A: "Who cares, I'm a coke man myself."