A wife comes home after a shopping trip, and she's horrified to see her husband in bed with a young woman.
She's about to storm out of the house, and the husband says "But I can explain, dear. As I was driving home I saw this poor and tired-looking creature standing by the road, so I offered her a ride. She said she was hungry, so I brought her to our home and fed her some of your leftover pot roast. Her shoes were completely worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't wear because they're out of style. She was cold, so I gave her your new birthday sweater you never wear because you say the color doesn't suit you. Her slacks were tattered, so I gave her a pair of yours that don't fit you anymore.
Then, just as she was about to leave our house, she stopped and asked me, 'Is there anything else your wife no longer uses?'