- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where
all the bad girls live.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
- Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts but as mattresses?
- If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
- It there another word for synonym?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all?"
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas stations bathrooms? Are they afraid
someone will clean them?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?