A pirate walks into a bar. He has a peg leg, hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye.
The bartender asks "So, what happened to your leg?"
The pirate says "Aaar, I was fighting the British Navy and they blew up me ship, I fell over board, and a shark bit me leg off."
"Oh," said the bartender,"what happened to your hand?"
The pirate replies, "Aaar, I was fighting the British Navy again, and won came up and chopped me hand of with his sword."
The bartender then asked,"Well what happened to your eye?"
The pirate answered, "Aaar, I was walking down the beach and I looked up and there were some seagulls and one doodooed in me eye."
"And that caused your eye to be put out?," asked the bartender.
To this the pirate said,"No, first day with me hook!"