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Things Not To Say In Bed

1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. Can you please try breathing through your nose.

6. A little rug burn never hurt anyone.

7. Darling, did you lock the back door?

8. But whipped cream makes me break out in a rash.

9. person 1: This is your first time...right? person 2: It is....... today

10. Can you pass me the remote control?

11. Do you accept Visa?

12. On second thoughts, let's turn off the lights.

13. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend.

14. So much for mouth-to-mouth

15. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

16. Try not to smear my make-up, will you'?

17. But I just brushed my teeth... 18. Smile, you're on candid camera!

19. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs?!

20. I want a baby!

21. So much for the fulfilment of sexual fantasies!

22. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

23. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

24. When is this supposed to feel good?

25. Did I remember to take my pill?

26. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

27. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.

28. Did I tell you my aunt Martha died in this bed?

29. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance.

30. No, really.. I do this part better myself.

31. This would be more fun with a few more people.

32. You're almost as good as my ex!

33. You look younger than you feel.

34. Perhaps you're just out of practice.

35. Now I know why she dumped you...

36. Does your husband own a sawn off shot-gun?

37. Have you ever considered liposuction?

38. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

39. What are you planning to make for breakfast?

40. I'll tell you I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about..

41. Does this count as a date?

42. I think biting is romantic- don't you?

42. When would you like to meet my parents?

43. Have you seen "fatal attraction"?

44. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not to good with names.

45. Don't mind me... I always file my nails in bed.

46. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a doberman.

47. Sorry but I don't do toes.

48. You could at least act like you're enjoying it!

49. Keep the noise down, my mother is a light sleeper.

50. I've slept with more women than Casanova!

 
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