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HOME > Miscellaneous Jokes Category >
Talking Peanuts

A businessman walks into a bar after a day at the office, sits down, and orders a drink. He grabs a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the counter, and as he takes his first sip, he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie, is that silk? The women must love you."

Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could've been speaking to him. With a shrug, he finishes his drink & peanuts and orders another.

Next he hears a voice say, "Those shoes are stylin', my man. Are they Italian leather? They look grrrreat."

He whirls around to again see no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool. A little wierded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts and orders a third drink. This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks fantastic. Is it an Armani? You are *SO* G.Q.!"

He immediately calls the bartender over and says, "Look. I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes, and my suit look -- What's up with that? Am I going crazy?"

"Oh," the bartender, nonchalantly replies, "those are just the peanuts."

"The peanuts?!?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him.

"Yeah," replies the bartender, "...they're complimentary."

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