A young man is staggering about drunk with a key in his hand.
"What's going on 'ere then?" says a passing policeman.
"They stole me bloody car!" shouts the drunk.
"Where did you last see it?" asks the copper.
"On the end of this key!" wails the drunk.
The policeman looks him over and says, "Are you aware, sir, that your penis is hanging out of your trousers?"
"Holy shit!" screams the drunk; "They got me girlfriend too!"