An avid golfer dies and goes to heaven. He is met by St. Peter who tells him, "Welcome to Heaven. I know you will be pleased to know that this is the best golf course in the universe!" The man's eyes turn cloudy. St. Peter says, "And the weather here is always good." A tear begins to form in the man's eye.
St. Peter says, "And there is never any lines of people when you want to golf." A tear starts dropping from the man's other eye.
St. Peter hurriedly says, "And your drives go at least 50 yards further up here." The man is now sniffling.
St. Peter then says, "And you will never have more than two puts on any of the greens." The man is now sobbing uncontrollably.
St. Peter asks, "Hey, what is the matter with you? I thought you would be overjoyed. Why the tears?"
The man answers, "If my wife hadn't fed me all of that healthy food, I would have been here five years earlier!".