Jokes Categories
Funny Pictures
Funny Videos
Greeting Cards
Funny Flash

Add a Joke
Your Account

Free Funny Videos
Funny Videos
Fun Pictures
Very Funny Pics
The Free Site
More Links...

Contact Us
Link To Us
Email Us Jokes And Pictures
HOME > Miscellaneous Jokes Category >
Men vs. Women

The Perfect Day for Her:

  • 8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
  • 8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
  • 8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants 9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
  • 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
  • 12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
  • 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
  • 1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
  • 3:00 Nap
  • 4:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
  • 4:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
  • 5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
  • 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
  • 10:00 Hot shower (alone)
  • 10:30 Make love
  • 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
  • 11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
The Perfect Day for Him!
  • 6:00 Alarm
  • 6:15 Blowjob
  • 6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
  • 7:00 Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
  • 7:30 Limo arrives
  • 7:45 Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
  • 8:15 DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and WSJ)
  • 9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
  • 9:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
  • 11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
  • 12:15 Blowjob
  • 12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under)
  • 2:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
  • 2:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
  • 3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew
  • 4:30 Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
  • 5:00 G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job enroute by naked Kathy Ireland
  • 6:45 Shit, shower and shave
  • 7:00 Watch CNN newsflash: Clinton resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video released and authenticated. (Hillary has a secret mole, Al looks real cold)
  • 7:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak
  • 9:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
  • 9:30 Sex with three women
  • 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
  • 11:45 Bed (alone)
  • 11:50 12 second, 4 note fart, dog leaves the room
  • 11:55 Sleep

  Printable Version  
Current Grade
Bookmark and Share

Join thousands who get daily jokes to their e-email!
More Media

The Hand That Feeds

If At First You Don't Succeed

Please Die Slowly

Other Humor Sites

Funny Animals
Funny Videos
Funny Women
MySpace Layouts
Gibbleguts Cartoons

Funny Pictures DK
Life Is a Joke
Hilarious Videos
Funny Animals
Fun Games
Myspace Layouts

Funny Picture 123
All Funny Pictures
Cool Jokes
Jokes & Fun Pics
Guzer Jokes

Funny Pictures
Insane Pictures
Funny Pics
Asian Jokes


If you have any suggestion or comment please contact us
at - Privacy Policy
Copyright 2000
All rights reserved