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Hallmark cards you'll never see


So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... Look at the bright side, she's a really good lay.

My tire was thumping.... I thought it was flat.... when I looked at the tire.... I noticed your cat... Sorry

You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends.... here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.

You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one, of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be... But don't fret about it .... She moved in with me

Your computer is dead... it was once so alive Don't you regret installing Windows 95?

You totaled your car... and can't remember why... could it have been... that case of Bud Dry?

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