1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however,
like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to
leave LA to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure
who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can
get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's
running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous,
preferably while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure
there is a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is,
they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions
if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who
also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as
they are Democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another
country but need the baseball scores.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the