Valentine Day's One-Liners

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  • 2619 Voters
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  • 1¬†year, 1¬†month ago
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

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What would you get it you crossed Odie with the God of love?

A stupid cupid!

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Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

It was Valenswine's Day!

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Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

Sure, they're very scent-imental!

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What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?

A hug and a quiche!

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What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?

"I'm sweet on you!"

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What did the paper clip say to the magnet?

"I find you very attractive."

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What would you call a woman who goes out with Jon?

Desperate!

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What did one pickle say to the other?

"You mean a great dill to me."

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Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!

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What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

"I love you a ton!"

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What did the bat say to his girlfriend?

"You're fun to hang around with."

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Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?

He fell in love with a pincushion!

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

"I dot my i's on you!"

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Liz: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Jon: "Really?"
Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!"

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Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!